f Six Hundred & Sixty Nine; 'Let's catch-up!'


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Six Hundred & Sixty Nine; 'Let's catch-up!'

October 19, 2014 /

I'm typing this while waiting for my train. 
Having some thoughts in my mind which I would like to share.

"Catching Up"

'Hey! Long time no see. Meet up soon leh.'
'Would you like to catch up?'
'Let's go chill!' 
'How are you? Glad to see you doing well. Let's meet soon :)' 
'We should catch up!'

At the age of 25, whenever I hear sentences like that, I will usually cringe. 
Yes, cringe. 
With people whom I do not even talk much to? 
With people whom I have not seen for years and then suddenly wanting to 'catch-up'?
It doesn't make any sense to me.
What is there to 'catch up' on when there was none to begin with?
Sorry, but I am not interested. 

6 reasons why people want to 'catch-up':

1. Sell Insurance/Property/Cars 
This has got to be number 1 on the list.
'Friends' who claim that they want to 'catch-up' with you,
only because they want to sell their policies to you.
It is perfectly fine if they are just trying their luck to see if you are interested, 
& I understand that they are just doing their jobs. 
But it is NOT okay when I already mentioned that I have my own financial planner 
& I have no intention to change my plans, 
and am not looking for someone new, 
yet he/she continues to try persuading me to meet them 
and claim that he/she has 'better plans' for me. 
And when I rejected politely once again, 
he/she continued to try his/her luck by saying things like, 
'It's okay! We can still meet for coffee/tea and we can discuss again.' 
I think it is important to know when to draw a line while working hard for your job.
No, I am not keen. Period. 

2. Competitive Nature
Sometimes, people ask not because they are genuinely concerned;
they ask because they are kaypoh (curious) of how well/bad you are doing. 
They want to know if they are doing better than you. 
So sad but true, such people do exist.
Catching up with these people?
No, thank you.

3. Fake and phoney
Bumping into someone (whom you prolly only exchanged 5 sentences with before),
and he/she says things like,
"Hey babe! Good to see you. Sorry i'm in a rush. Let's catch up soon!'
Firstly, I dislike the word 'babe'.
If you are a friend, addressing me by my name would be ten times better than calling me 'babe'.
So if you call me 'babe', you are most likely not a close enough friend to begin with,
or perhaps you don't even remember my name?
I can never understand why do people mention about 'catching up soon' for the sake of mentioning it.
Is it a kind of 'formality' to them? 
Saying that you want to 'catch up' when you have absolutely no intention to,
is just really.. fake and phoney isn't it?
'Hey! Hope you have been doing well. See you around!'
will work much better for me.
And even if we really do meet up for a 'catch up' session,
it will be filled with superficial contents,
which.. I am honestly not interested in.
I'll prefer to stay home anytime.
So no, thank you.

4. Middle-person
He/she wants to catch-up with you, 
because he/she is interested in a friend of yours.
Either for work/personal reasons.
In short, he/she wants to make use of his/her 'connection' with you,
to connect with other people around you.
Undoubtedly, no thank you.

5. Job-hunting
This friend may have lost his/her job recently or is hunting for a new job.
He/her may be interested in what you are doing,
and would like to hear from you more about your job.
In this case, I will generally want to help as much as I can,
unless he/she is a real nasty person or a creep.
If he/she is someone whom I do not feel comfortable talking face-to-face with,
I will answer his/her questions over messages,
and try to help as much as I can.
Whether I will want to meet-up with him/her depends on how genuine this friend is.

6. Genuinely concerned and cherish the friendship
Yes, there will still be that handful of people 
who genuinely care,
and put in effort to catch-up with you to maintain the friendship.
Basically, that handful of true friends.
It is not easy to filter sometimes,
but if they are your true friends, you will know. You will just know.
These people are gems.
Cherish them.
These are the only kind of people whom I would love to 'catch-up' with.

**These are just 6 reasons that I can think of at the moment,
mainly because they have happened to me before.
Maybe there are other reasons, good or bad..
I am really not a fan of 'catching-up' with people,
for the sake of all those superficiality.
I am not 'anti-social'.. 
I just really prefer to 'catch-up' only with close & genuine friends
and people whom I am comfortable with.
Sometimes we do not have a choice though.
As much as we dislike it, we feel obliged to do so on some occasions..
On other days, I enjoy solitude alot,
and would rather be alone than to feel lonely in the midst of a crowd.
I would rather stay home than to 'hang out' with a group of people 
whom I don't even have much in common with.

"Hey Babe! Let's catch-up!"
Urgh.. No, thank you. 
  1. I can never understand why do people mention about 'catching up soon' for the sake of mentioning it." --- I don't understand too. I seriously dunno if people really care how good am I doing or they are just curious (kaypoh)..

    Thank you for this post! I have learnt something from it. ;)

    1. Hi Jaslyn!

      I just wanted to share my thoughts on this.. and I'm glad that you could relate to it too.. :)

  2. hey just so you know i'm a guy and i hate girls who say babe all the time... just sound really bimbo.. feel like slapping them all the time..

    1. Hi!

      Actually sometimes, guys overuse the word 'babe' too! hahah. in any case, I get your drift. but.. to be fair, not all of them sound 'bimbotic' just because they use the word. It's just a very general word la.. I guess.. while people like you and I dislike the word, there are many who are okay with it :)