f Love is..


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Love is..

May 14, 2015 / ,

It has been exactly 8 months into this LDR.
(technically 6.5 months because I went over to find him for 1.5 months).
I have been asked 'How is it going?' for so many times..
& I would always reply 'Okay ah!', because it really is!

In fact, for the past 4 months since my return from the visit,
our relationship has been even stronger than before.
I just decided to skip all the details because I believe that as much as I am quite open about this relationship,
there are still some things that are meant to be kept between us two
i.e. the ups and downs that we experienced, like any other couples.
Nevertheless, there are some general thoughts which I thought I could share,
from my own experiences and mainly from the love stories which I have heard from others lately.
This is just a random post that I'm typing away at 1am,
so yea, just bits and pieces of my thoughts. 

I cannot tell you exactly what love is; nobody can.
We all have different definitions of it.
One thing for sure, is that love in the long-run,
is not just about those racing heart and fluttery feelings.
Those butterflies in your stomach will not be in there for decades.
That newness and freshness of a relationship will wear off at some point of time.
If you base 'love' solely on such feelings,
you will only find yourself losing interest very often.
And you wonder why it never worked out with any of them?
That is because you have only fallen in love with the idea of falling in love,
and not with the partner that you are with.
When you are in love with your partner,
you think of ways to recreate the sparks every now and then,
& you make a choice to fall in love with your partner over and over again.
You focus on his/her strengths while both of you work on the weaknesses together.
You grow together.

You know how we sometimes turn to our close friends for advices
when we encounter hiccups or are troubled by some issues regarding the relationship?
While it is good to listen to the opinions of others to have a wider view
or different perspective of the issue,
you gotta remind yourself that at the end of the day,
your friends' view of the relationship may be just on the surface. 
Only you will know best how your partner is really like,
how well (or bad) he/she has been treating you.
All the little daily things that your partner does for you,
your friends will not see it.
(Or if your partner is cold to you but appears loving in front of your friends,
your friends will not see it too.)
So while it's good to listen to your friends' views from a 3rd person perspective,
you ought to be clear-headed to judge for yourself!
Unfortunately, there will also be one or two friends who somehow believe that they are love gurus
(when they are leading a screwed-up life themselves),
and they will give you opinions of what they think about your relationship even when you did not ask for it.
Ignore their advices, really.
They impose their own definition of 'love' onto your relationship
and being Mr/Miss Know-it-all,
they think that you should listen to them. *inserts eye-rolling emoticon*

I've questioned myself 'what is love?'
& 'how do I know when someone truly loves me/I love someone?' so many times before
(and I still do so once in a while).
But I guess, over the years, I have slowly formed my own definition of 'love'.
To me, I feel love when I can feel the support and commitment from my partner.
Love is when my partner knows my insecurities, but instead of being furious with me for having those silly thoughts,
he listens and does his best to assure me, over and over again.
Love is when I know that I am a part of his plans for the future.
Most importantly, love is when I feel that immense joy when my partner is happy;
love is when I genuinely enjoy making my partner happy and I know he feels the same way too.
I believe, in order for a relationship to be strong, 
both parties need to know each other's definition of love,
and only after understanding the depth of this love that both share,
they can then work hand-in-hand towards a strong and loving relationship,
that can last for many decades. :)

Abrupt ending here but I'll definitely share more thoughts if they come across my mind!
Meanwhile, here are my previous posts on LDR: