f Dear 19 year-old me

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Dear 19 year-old me

April 15, 2015 / ,

I was just looking through my very first few blog posts on this blog
(some of which are already kept as drafts), and all those memories came flooding back.
So I decided to write a letter to 19 year-old me
(instead of writing to 16/17 year-old me like what many did),
because that was a tough year for me.

Dear 19 year-old me,

You are not experiencing the worst stage of your life.
Whatever shit you are dealing with now, are just chapters of your life that you will look back and laugh at.
Stop hurting yourself; because when you do so, you are not just hurting yourself, you are also hurting your loved ones. 
And those physical pains are not going to solve your problems.
Deal with them, not escape. 
You feel that all is lost. I know you are having thoughts to call it quits. 
Thank you, thank you for not being so silly and selfish. 
Otherwise, there wouldn't be a me now to tell you all these.
Thank you, for holding on.

(19 year old me)


Forgive him. You will take a few years to let it go eventually,
and you will cry over him very oftenly, but you will eventually take it easier.
Know that you will always be his silly little girl, and he will always love you,
no matter how little he shows it. 
I know that you are looking forward to the day that he walk you down the aisle, so am I.

As for that young man who let you go, forget him.
Well, you will take almost a year to let go fully, but time will heal this wound.
Yes, there are things that I wish I could have told you earlier
so that you could make the relationship work and prolly last longer than it did,
but hey, no worries at all, you will realise that it was just not meant to be.
And no, it is not entirely your fault.
You are innocent (or rather, ignorant), but it is perfectly okay.
You can stop hoping that you will be back to being good friends, like before.
It will not happen.
Years from now, you will be looking back at this relationship,
wishing that you handled the breakup better.
This will probably be one of your lifetime regrets, but you will learn alot from it and move on.

Stop comparing yourself with others, and you will be so much happier.
Compare only with your own progress.
Others will always compare you with someone else,
or see you as their competition and make your life difficult, let them be.
You just focus on your own race, and never allow that inferiority of yours to take control.

Some of your close friends now, will still be your closest several years later.
You will realise that these are your true friends who will never judge you,
and will always be supporting you. 
You will meet new friends.
Some will be passer-bys in your life, while some will stay.
You will learn to filter people from your life,
and learn to be careful with your inner circle of trust.

That buddy of yours? 
You will never see this coming, but he will be your other half in years to come.
Don't laugh! It will happen.
Oh wait, you will almost get together with him 2 years from now,
but please just let it remain as an 'almost'!
You will be glad that both of you missed that chance.
Be patient, and wait for another 2 years. Because that will then be the best timing for the both of you.
Anyway, both of you will help each other to grow,
and you will be glad to be in love with your best (guy) friend.

You will take your first plane ride when you are 21,
and you will fall in love with traveling when you turn 23.
Travel is never a bad investment.
Do not allow money to stop you from exploring the world; sort out your finances properly,
and you will definitely be able to fork out some amount for the trips.
By 25, you will not have purchased a single branded bag,
because you will rather spend it on traveling. Keep it that way.

Spend as much time as you can with Mummee. 
You know that she is your pillar of support, and vice versa.
There are times when you will be frustrated with your own things,
and you will lose your temper.
Sometimes, you will forget that while you are growing up, she is growing older and weaker too.
I wish I could remind you that constantly..
Please work harder in giving her a better life that she truly deserves.
I am angry with you for those huge quarrels you had with your sister,
it pains her terribly, you know?
She is the one who will often see the worst side of you;
those days when you lock yourself in the room to cry badly, she knows.
Talk to her; she wants to listen and know more about what is going on in your life.
As she grows older, she will start to repeat the things that she says,
but listen to her and let her talk.
You want her to be happy, but guess what?
She told me that for her to be happy, you must first be happy too.
Her unconditional love, will keep you going strong.

Last but not least, you knew what your passion is all these while;
so pursue it with all your heart. 
It will be very tough, but you gotta believe that it will all work out. 
Well, it may not work out exactly the way you wish it will,
and there will be so many disheartening moments,
but you will learn from all those falls and you will get up stronger than before.
Don't fret about those failures, just try your best to not stay down for too long
and do not be too harsh on yourself.
You need to get up and continue your journey!

Let me tell you frankly: the years ahead will be a bumpy one, 
but fret not, you will get through them eventually.
Keep going, take chances and do not be afraid to try.
Remember your motto?
'If you don't try, you miss all your chances.'
Do not worry about the mistakes that you will make along the way.
These mistakes that you make will make me who I am now, 
and help me to be stronger than ever.

(19-going-on-20 year old me)


With love,
25 years old me.
  1. You are doing good now! Born in 1990?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you.. :') I am 25-turning-26!

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    2. :) I just want to start blogging. Nothing is too late :P :)

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