f Four Hundred & Sixty Nine; 敬愛的碧珠姐。

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Four Hundred & Sixty Nine; 敬愛的碧珠姐。

June 22, 2012 /


今天無法送她最後一程,因為得工作。蠻遺憾的。。
她,就是碧珠姐。
Due to work, I am unable to send BiZhu Jie on her last journey. Today was the last day of funeral.

大約四個月前,是我第一次與她相遇。
托A 姐的介紹,我才有機會認識到碧珠姐。
碧珠姐幫我安排了一個視鏡。
當時的我,開心的不得了。
It was my first time meeting her,
approximately 4 months ago.
Thanks to A, who introduced me to her.
BiZhu Jie arranged a casting session for me.
& I was so glad to receive a call from her.

到了視鏡當天,我已做好準備。
雖然有點緊張,但是她的親切友善讓我較安心。
演完最後一場"哭戲"後,
碧珠姐說了一句:"有感動到。。做演員就是要能夠讓觀眾感動。很好!"
她的那一番話,還深深的烙在我腦海裡。
碧珠姐,謝謝您,當時給我的一點小肯定。。
On the day of casting, I was prepared.
Despite being nervous, her friendliness made me felt at ease.
After my casting, she mentioned,
"I was touched. To be an actor, you have to be able to allow your audience to be touched by your performance. Well-done."
That sentence mentioned by her, is still etched deeply in my mind.
BiZhu Jie, thank you for giving me that little sign of confirmation/assurance back then.

她也說她會儘量幫我安排一些戲,
要我耐心等待。
She also mentioned that she will try to help me arrange for some dramas,
& told me to wait patiently.

大約一個多月後,我從XY口中聽說碧珠姐放了長假。
所以,就在Facebook留言,問候她。。
About a month later, I heard from XY that BiZhu Jie was on a long-term leave.
So I left a message on Facebook to find out if she was okay.

當時的我,完全不曉得她就是個資深導演。
<小娘惹>、<當我們同在一起>、和許多戲劇,都是由她導演的。
更不知道她曾在2010年的紅星大獎,拿過最佳導演。
所以,我都以"碧珠姐"來稱呼她,
而不是"碧珠導演"。
我當然也不知道碧珠姐,已和癌症病魔奮鬥了幾年。。
只是關心的問候一下,她也從不提過。。
Back then, I had no idea at all that she was an experienced director.
The Little Nonya, Together, & many other drama series were directed by her.
I did not know that she won Best Director in Star Awards 2010.
Which was why, I addressed her as BiZhu Jie instead of Bizhu Director.
Of course, I did not know that she was battling with Monster Cancer..
I only asked out of concern, & she never mentioned about it as well..

大約三個星期前,碧珠姐聯絡我,
說有個角色,需要我見監製,做個視鏡。
視鏡後,我完全沒信心。
覺得自己的表現不夠好,所以完全沒抱太大的希望。。
我發了個簡訊,答謝碧珠姐給我機會。。
Just 3 weeks ago, BiZhu jie contacted me.
She told me there was a role, & needed me to go for casting with the Producer.
After the casting, I had no confidence at all.
Felt that my performance was not sufficient, thus, I did not bear too much hope.
Nevertheless, I sent BiZhu Jie a sms to thank her for the opportunity.
六月八日,我接到她的簡訊時,興奮不已。
心想,終於可以報答她了;一定要好好表現,不讓她失望!
On the 8th of June, I received a message from her.
Was so elated when I saw this measage.
I thought, I could finally thank her by doing well for the role & not disappoint her..
I thought......

上個星期,卻得知了這個消息。
Last week, I saw this newspaper article.
她,陷入昏迷了。
我就是在這時才知道碧珠姐,是個導演。
才知道她在與可怕的病魔奮鬥。。
她是因為必須多休息,才調去視鏡部門。
She was in coma.
It was then, that I found out that BiZhu Jie was a director.
She was battling with the illness.
She switched to the casting side because she needed more rest.

當晚的心情特別沈重。
和男友通話時,我就落淚了。
她是個大好人。
好人不該受這種折磨吧。。
Felt really heavy-hearted that night..
While on the phone with the boyfriend, I dropped tears..
She was such a nice person,
who should not be suffering from these..

我知道她是個很堅強的人。
一直沒放棄希望。
所以,心想,碧珠姐一定能熬過這關。
I knew she was a strong1-willed lady,
& never gave up.
Therefore, I believed she would endure through this ordeal..

但是,現實總是殘酷的。
星期一(六月十八日),當我在新傳媒,在演員議會開始前,
從龍敏監製口中聽到:
"我們得知了一個消息,我們的一位同事已離開了我們。。"
我愣住了。
一整晚開會時,我仿佛在發呆。
一時無法接受事實。
我深信,當晚我有機會坐在那兒開會,有機會參與新劇,
都是碧珠姐幫我爭取的。。
But reality is always harsh.
On Monday (18th June), when I was at Mediacorp for a cast meeting,
Producer broke the news to us.
"We received a piece of news.. One of our colleagues has left us."
I was taken aback.
Throughout the meeting, I was almost stoning.
Couldnt accept the truth at once..
I've always believed that I had a chance to be part of this drama, & to even be present at the cast meet, all because BiZhu Jie helped me to put in good words..

星期二,我去教堂見了碧珠姐最後一面。
眼淚不禁落了下來。尤其是從XY口中得知,
碧珠姐因為看好我,所以一直有在努力把我推薦給監製們。。
感恩、感激。。
能遇見她,我真的很慶幸。
碧珠姐,謝謝您默默地當了我的Guardian Angel
相信她幫過無數的演員, 也教導過許多台前幕後的工作人員。
而我,很幸運的是其中一位。。
On tuesday, I headed to the funeral held at a memorial church.
Tears rolled down uncontrollably.. Especially when Xy told me,
BiZhu Jie saw some potential in me, hence she has been helping to recommend me to the producers..
Appreciate & thankful..
I was fortunate to meet her.
BiZhu jie, thank you for being my Guardian Angel silently..
I believed she has helped many artistes & crew before.
& I was lucky, to be one of them..

親愛的碧珠姐,愿您一路好走。我會儘全力把戲演好。我相信您能看得到!
我不能讓您失望。
記得在天堂看我的演出,如果做得不够好,那就托夢来罵我/指導我哦!
謝謝您,是你讓我相信世界上真的有好人。
謝謝您,我敬愛的碧珠姐。
安息。。
Dearest BiZhu Jie, I will definitely do my utmost best to perform well in this drama. I believe you will be able to see it. I do not wish to disappoint you..
Remember to watch my performance from Heaven!
If I'm not doing well enough, please appear in my dreams to scold me, to guide me!
Thank you, for allowing me to still have faith in humanity. You made me believe that genuinely nice people still exists..
Thank you, you deserve all our respect.
May you rest in peace, dearest BiZhu Jie.


With Love,
Shine

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