Due to work, I am unable to send BiZhu Jie on her last journey. Today was the last day of funeral.
It was my first time meeting her,
approximately 4 months ago.
Thanks to A, who introduced me to her.
BiZhu Jie arranged a casting session for me.
& I was so glad to receive a call from her.
On the day of casting, I was prepared.
Despite being nervous, her friendliness made me felt at ease.
"I was touched. To be an actor, you have to be able to allow your audience to be touched by your performance. Well-done."
That sentence mentioned by her, is still etched deeply in my mind.
BiZhu Jie, thank you for giving me that little sign of confirmation/assurance back then.
She also mentioned that she will try to help me arrange for some dramas,
& told me to wait patiently.
About a month later, I heard from XY that BiZhu Jie was on a long-term leave.
So I left a message on Facebook to find out if she was okay.
Back then, I had no idea at all that she was an experienced director.
The Little Nonya, Together, & many other drama series were directed by her.
I did not know that she won Best Director in Star Awards 2010.
Which was why, I addressed her as BiZhu Jie instead of Bizhu Director.
Of course, I did not know that she was battling with Monster Cancer..
I only asked out of concern, & she never mentioned about it as well..
Just 3 weeks ago, BiZhu jie contacted me.
She told me there was a role, & needed me to go for casting with the Producer.
After the casting, I had no confidence at all.
Felt that my performance was not sufficient, thus, I did not bear too much hope.
Nevertheless, I sent BiZhu Jie a sms to thank her for the opportunity.
On the 8th of June, I received a message from her.
Was so elated when I saw this measage.
I thought, I could finally thank her by doing well for the role & not disappoint her..
Last week, I saw this newspaper article.
She was in coma.
It was then, that I found out that BiZhu Jie was a director.
She was battling with the illness.
She switched to the casting side because she needed more rest.
Felt really heavy-hearted that night..
While on the phone with the boyfriend, I dropped tears..
She was such a nice person,
who should not be suffering from these..
I knew she was a strong1-willed lady,
& never gave up.
Therefore, I believed she would endure through this ordeal..
But reality is always harsh.
On Monday (18th June), when I was at Mediacorp for a cast meeting,
Producer broke the news to us.
"We received a piece of news.. One of our colleagues has left us."
I was taken aback.
Throughout the meeting, I was almost stoning.
Couldnt accept the truth at once..
I've always believed that I had a chance to be part of this drama, & to even be present at the cast meet, all because BiZhu Jie helped me to put in good words..
On tuesday, I headed to the funeral held at a memorial church.
Tears rolled down uncontrollably.. Especially when Xy told me,
BiZhu Jie saw some potential in me, hence she has been helping to recommend me to the producers..
Appreciate & thankful..
I was fortunate to meet her.
BiZhu jie, thank you for being my Guardian Angel silently..
I believed she has helped many artistes & crew before.
& I was lucky, to be one of them..
Dearest BiZhu Jie, I will definitely do my utmost best to perform well in this drama. I believe you will be able to see it. I do not wish to disappoint you..
Remember to watch my performance from Heaven!
If I'm not doing well enough, please appear in my dreams to scold me, to guide me!
Thank you, for allowing me to still have faith in humanity. You made me believe that genuinely nice people still exists..
Thank you, you deserve all our respect.
May you rest in peace, dearest BiZhu Jie.