f One Hundred & Eighty Seven.


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One Hundred & Eighty Seven.

May 2, 2010 /


the recent Melissa Toh incident,
made me think a lot.. once again.

anw, I don't know her in person,
but she was my friend's friend,
&.. my friend's sister.

There's nothing much I should/can comment about.
what I just wna say is,
she was such a pretty & beautiful girl,
an angel to many I suppose..
& I hope she's happy wherever she may be now,
& most imptly, I know it's definitely not easy, never easy at all,
but I hope S & family will be able to pull through this.

so as I was saying..
this incident reminded me of Silly C Ong..
in fact, random thoughts of her do appear in my mind all the time,
but I just don't mention it to anyone anymore..

because i dont see the need to.
because we all know that thr's no point in saying anything anymore
since she's already gone.
don't wna be a nuisance or any sort..
dont wna be mistaken as a drama mama.

because I don't think anyone can feel me,
& no one can ever feel this pain & regret in me,
from deep within.
ppl may be able to understand how I feel,
but to understand & be able to feel how I feel,
is not the same.
i guess the only person whom i can think of,
who can feel me, will be cheryl.

but anw, most imptly,
when I'm already feeling sad,
i guess,
I really dont need anyone to come telling me
all their personal judgments & opinions,
& how some ppl shld be reprimanded,
or even telling me endlessly how coward they are.
yes, I do understand your point & I can't deny..
but fact is, they're gone.

I really don't wna be accused
of being a drama mama or any sort,
but girl, I miss you.
but I've no one else to blame but myself,
for this self-inflicted regret,
because it was sth I did,
which resulted in this regret.
no, rather, it was sth I never did,
which resulted in this regret.
it's been almost 10 months.
but this hole, can never be mended.

I will visit you one fine day,
when I have the courage to look at you agn,
& to be able to not drop any tears in front of you.
because this time,
I'll be looking at a photo of you,
smiling at me;
but all I can do,
is to wonder,
if you're happy whenever you may be now..
my silly girl, always..

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